Long time no post, right... Well I decided to start working on this blog more as I've given up my previous online voluntary job (as a Shattered-tranquility.net staff member) just around 20 hours ago so I won't be as busy.
Also, I'm trying out some more serious writing myself, mostly for some school and country organized competitions so it wouldn't be bad to get into analyzing poetry (lyrics) a bit more thoughtfully. I'm writing mostly in my native language so don't worry haha
Anyway, I have a helper now! You know a friend that requested Designer baby and Kohaku, Milica? She turned out to be an extremely smart (talented, whatever) person for analyzing and getting deep into a core of every word of the song, so most you read from now on, I credit to her.
And I want to give her an enormously huge, from the depths of my heart grateful, THANK YOU.
Enough babbling waffling, let's get into some analyzing!
*READ THE FOLLOWING PLEASE*
This is a very complicated song. You can see it from both a girl and a boy perspective. Also, I've run into an assumption that it's about a relationship between a musician and his fan, and some words used seriously imply to that. I will try to distance from it as much as I can since it can't really be proven but keep it in mind while reading.
There are lines sung in falsetto (distinguished by italics in the kanji lyrics and in the "quotation marks" in the translation), which most probably represent real dialogues
-in version 1 (a girl perspective)-the lines that she says out loudly
-in version 2 (a boy perspective)-the lines that a girl said to him
AWOI
Zacro (11.2009.)
BEDROOM
"曝された夜、泣き濡れた顔。
月まで遠く、窓越しの闇。
私まるで終演のガールフレンド。
シナリオ通り踊り踊らせて。"
月まで遠く、窓越しの闇。
私まるで終演のガールフレンド。
シナリオ通り踊り踊らせて。"
(Sarasareta yoru, nakinureta kao.
Tsuki made tooku, madogoshi no yami.
Watashi maru de, shuuen no girlfriend.
Scenario toori odori odorasete.)
(The night I was exposed, my face wet with tears.
Far from the moon, darkness enters through my window.
"It's like I'm the girlfriend of the end of (your) performance."
As per the scenario, dancing, made to dance.)
ver1: She's probably in her bed. "Sarasu" is a word that is often used on online forums, when someone's secret leaks out, so if we take it with that meaning, she was in an inappropriate relationship and they got busted. It's not unusual for a breakup to happen after this "exposing" so it may be a reason for her crying. It goes along with the rest of the lines, where we have "performance" and "scenario" appearing (remember the musician theory?).
However, if we really do distance ourselves from the musician, we get the completely different meaning. It might be SHE who got exposed to that boy, being completely emotionally naked in front of him. She said that "it's like she was the girl of the end of his performance" which might imply that she isn't quite as important to him as he is to her. Going along, she felt like she was his marionette in all of it. She could be dealing with their breakup or simply knowing he uses her for sex or something similar.
ver2: The similar situation, he's probably in his bed. The theory of the online "exposure" remains pretty much the same.
Talking about the other possible meaning, it's also pretty much related to the girl version, except that he is the one trapped now. She busted him and what she means to him.
However. Another thing that I want to point out is that he could have been exposed to his own self, realizing that he is actually really in love with her, and it makes a conflict in himself and confuses him because he's been a "manipulator" and now he can't take control. He wants to continue the way he was before (probably being the macho alpha boy just playing around with girls). Looking at it like this, the second line might be hiding something much more than just pretty words. His "old self" is appearing much further than it was, and something new and scary is coming in all of the sudden. He apparently believes that being that kind of a macho boy is a great thing.
"
穴が空くほど見詰めた時計。
探す秒針、戻らない夜。
私の声、驚く程弱く細く、すぐに途切れてしまいそう。"
私の声、驚く程弱く細く、すぐに途切れてしまいそう。"
(Ana ga aku hodo mitsumeta tokei.
Sagasu byoushin, modoranai yoru.
Watashi no koe, odoroku hodo yowaku hosoku, sugu ni togireteshimaisou.)
(Looking at my watch so much I could dig a hole in it.
Searching for the second hand, the night that can't turn back.
"My voice, I'm surprised" so weak and thin as if it would cut off at any moment.)
(*the second hand-a thin needle on a clock that's showing seconds)
ver1: Most of this just expresses to what point she's feeling nervous and how much she wants to go back to the past where everything was right.
There are two things we thought of that she could be surprised because: first is the obvious from the following, of how fragile her voice sounds like (because of crying)
or she's surprised with what she said previously, how she managed to say it out loudly into his face.
ver2: Most lines remain meaning the same, except that he wants to "turn back" to his crazy past. Also, seeing the dialogue from the male perspective would more confidently confirm that she was surprised with what she said herself, and she seemed so weak at that moment.
"冷めない筈の熱まで奪わないでよ。"
(Samenai hazu no netsu made ubawanaide yo.)
(Don't take away the fever that wasn't supposed to cool down.)
it's intriguing how we can't get what this part means even after tons of thinking, wondering and guessing.
This makes me think even more that the male version is a more convincing one.
in ver2 it would probably be related to his "manliness" and how she blames her for "stealing it"
in ver1, a girl would probably refer to what they had together, or what she thought they had.
in both versions, it's obvious that they can't part with their past that was so obviously a bad thing (like a disease) but felt so good.
"まだ眠れないよ。
ルラリ、ルラリ、溶けて、消えて、箱の中。
まだ残ってるの。
甘く揺れる、あなたと私の香り。"
(Mada nemurenai no.
Rurari, rurari, tokete, kiete, hako no naka.
Mada nokotteru no.
Amaku yureru, anata to watashi no kaori.)
(Once again I can't sleep.
Rurari, rurari, melt, disappear, inside the box.
It still remains,
Sweetly floating, your and my scent.)
it's really not necessary to distinguish this by girl/boy versions, it's pretty much the same. The character is slowly falling asleep, even though (s)he denies it, as everything is getting kinda etheric and mellow. (S)he also starts feeling their scents mixed up again, the way (s)he remembers it. There's an assumption I've read, that the "box" can also mean "a concert hall" (used online too) but I kinda feel it's wrong. The box could simply mean his/her, kinda empty and tired from crying, head, or even just a room he/she's in. I can't find any clue to what "rurari" should mean, but it's probably just a phrase made up to remind of some kind of a lullaby.
"今、冷たくなってる白いシーツに私の絵を描こう。
あぁ。。。あなたの香り、少しずつ私と混ざってゆくように。"
あぁ。。。あなたの香り、少しずつ私と混ざってゆくように。"
(Ima, tsumetaku natteru shiroi sheets ni watashi no e wo kakou.
Aa... anata no kaori, sukoshi zutsu watashi to masette yuku you ni.)
(Now, in the sheets that are becoming cold, I paint a picture of myself.
Aa... it's like your scent and mine mix together bit by bit.)
These lines are said only in the end, and it leads me to thinking that it's a beginning of a dream and the end of the sad night. "Painting a picture" also represents a dream in the making, where he or she feels they're together so realistically that he/she feels the aroma of their time together again. The sheets also show that everything is happening in the bed.
And here comes one more important question. What are the sheets cooling from? From the sweat produced while crying? Do you really think it's just that?
Were they together all along? Are these mixed scents really there, they're not imagined? Were they just "fighting" in bed? Were they making love?
ver1: If they were making love and he's lying and probably already sound asleep right beside her, we can tell the assumption of she feeling a lot while he's staying cold and uses her just for sex could be very right.
ver2: If they were making love and she's asleep next to him, that might just be the moment he "exposed to himself" and confessed to himself that he fell in love. Everything seems complicated since the girl is most probably aware she's just another sex toy for him and doesn't expect anything more from him. He thought so too, but...
This was the most interesting analysis I've ever done, I swear! I still can't figure it out completely.
Not sure what I'll do next, but keep your eye on this blog if you like my (our) analyses, and REQUEST, in comments or via twitter :D
